My Good Day

I've had a weird couple of days.

Nothing weird has actually happened, per say, but I've just felt... elated? And not for any particular reason. Particularly today. It's beginning to unnerve me!

Some would assume that feeling elated would be caused by a boy (or girl) but I don't think thats so in this case. I mean, speaking with Drew is great, I adore him, but that's not what it is.

Friends? Well, no, because Cat hasn't been online since her school started back, I went out with Staisy yesterday, which was fun but not elating.

School? It's not even back yet, and I'm excited to go back, but that's not for another week. And surprisingly I haven't received my school report, which is a relief. I don't want to see it at all.

I saw Slumdog Millionaire yesterday, which managed to sneak its way into my Top 5 Favourite Movies, but a movie can't make a person elated for any extended period of time.

Today I read a issue 8 of Fruits Basket, the one with Hatsuharu on the front, which was very feel-good. But again...

So the mystery of my elation continues. But I feel great, and productive. So, I'm gonna give my room a stab, try to write the new chapter of my fanfiction which I have put off, give my AMV a shot again, even though it's freezing up and making it difficult, but it's almost half done, I don't want it to all be in vain. Once I finish the AMV I'm going to reset this computer to factory settings, this computer is running very slowly.

I chose Drew. Antonio hasn't given it any effort, and as such, whats the point? Drew is great. Complete dork, and total sweetheart. What more could a girl ask for?

God it's been a lovely day

Everything's been going my way

I had so much fun today

And I'm on fire

- Dresden Dolls; Good Day

Gonna Dance the Night Away

Happy New Years everyone!

OOOOOOK

hm where to begin? Boy troubles sounds about right.

So my girl, the one I'm devoted to? I've decided I really need to move on. Shes the most incredible being, but she's so straight so there's really no point, I'm just hurting myself this way. And it would hurt her too should this continue, so I decided that moving on was the best option, and so far, it's working =] I think that on some level I will always care for her protectively, but now it is much more platonic.

You see there was this other boy, Drew, and who I met at Eirtakon, who is great. And he showed romantic interest in me. I kind of liked him the whole time really, but it was always overshadowed by my girl. So I decided to give Drew a proper chance. He's sweet, kind, dorky. Exactly my type. And it worked, I really care for him. Not as much, I think, as he does for me, but only time can tell. I think it would all be rather smooth, if not for Antonio.

Yes, that's right, another boy is in the picture here. I want to remind everyone that for the past year and a half to 2 years, I was more or less asexual. But Antonio is a boy from my scouts. I always liked him, on a smaller level, ever since I joined this scout group. He's loud, a jokester, loves good music (classic rock - AC/DC, Led Zepp, Guns N Roses) and he is actually a big sweetheart too apparently, concidering he just spent the whole scout trip to Venice describing me as "carina" (cute) "dolcissima" (REALLY sweet) and "come zucherro" (like sugar). And he apparently likes me. It sure came across that way, concidering we were pretty much cuddling at a couple of points. -.-'

So, after all of this, I now have two amazing guys who like me. Drew is much more open about it, but he lives in Northern Ireland, which makes it awkward. But Antonio won't say anything about it, and told our leader (who was desperate to get us together) that the situation was "complicato" which it is. Concidering my Italian is not up to par.

And they are both homebodies. I'm going back to Ireland for Uni, and I'm definatly NOT moving to NI, so both of them are doomed. But I can't make a desicion yet. I can't bring myself to. It's all happened so fast that I am pretty overwhelmed. I don't like the situation at all. I kind of wish I was still asexual. Or even back worshiping my girl.

I haven't said her name at all, by the way, because I don't want it getting back to her. I should probably not mention these boys names, but I'm conciderably more concerned with if she found out, and it would just be so confusing trying to use aliases, becuase I would forget them, or refering to them as "him, he, the other guy" would just be frustrating for the reader.

HMM. I have been downloading DeathNote and Ouran High School Host club to make an AMV. My plan is to enter one into the AMV contest at Eirtakon next year. For those who don't know, an AMV is an Anime Music Video. I have some really good ones planned, but at the moment I don't have the appropriate equiptment. I'm working on it though =] but my downloads are taking a very long time. Almost a month in fact.

I still haven't been able to get World of Warcraft working. I finally managed to get the code in, but I haven't figured out how to create an account name :S I don't know what to do! I'm reinstalling at the moment to see if it helps, should be ready to try again in the morning !!

I have more I wanted to talk about, but I can't really at the moment. Just don't feel up to it.

I might have a kidney infection?

Ok, I'll stop. I'm going to play some Guitar Hero - My sister and I got BAND HERO for christmas, and I love it. My favourite song at the moment, Paralyzer by Finger Eleven is on it. I'm going to give Medium level a go tonight I think. I also got a years membership to Greenpeace, which is kick ass. It came with a teeshirt that says "Deforestazione ZERO" which is awwwwesome. Its the Italian branch of course =]

Geek In the Pink

UGH these last couple of weeks have been awful. Truely

Exams = fail.

Essays = epic fail.

I found out that I was only going to get around 80% grade in Psych, and I freaked. I tanked the essay apparently, and also the exam, and I found out at the end of my Art exam. I literally burst into tears. I had a seriously EMO day after that, so upset about the fact that I definatly would never get into Oxford. My mother also got very upset and told me if I got less than 80% there was no point in being in the school, I was never going to get into University. I was so upset, I believed her. All day I freaked out about not going to University. Not fun. I was being really emo about it, about how my life was over, I wouldn't even graduate high school, etc etc. I was even planning on getting really really drunk that night, even though I hate the taste of alchohol. I had a crazy mentality of "Girls who don't go to University get really drunk on the weekends right?"

Then, I was saved. Because a couple of hours before I went out, I got a facebook message from my cousin. She has a friend in the admissions office at Trinity.... apparently, for a US applicant you need to get 1300 on the SATS.

I got 1600.

I'M IN TO TRINITY!!!!!

Well, not exactly. I have to apply and stuff. BUT WOOHOO, I got the points for Trinity! I AM GOING TO UNIVERSITY. Needless to say, I did not go out and get plastered that night. Infact, despite how upset I was at the time, I look back and laugh at how rediculous I was acting.

BUT last night, I was discovered being rather silly. Well. Stupid. My mother found a packet of ciggarettes in my bag. I feel more angry at the bag than my sister, who left the bag open in the living room. In fact, I'm not really angry at her at all. Its not her fault, I left them in there. I'm not sure why I feel the bag betrayed me o.O Maybe I felt that the bag was so cool, it could never be involved with anything bad. Its a DeathNote bag, I love it. Besides the point

I was actually giving them up. I don't find it difficult, I'm not addicted to them. I know everyone says that, but I dont smoke often enough to concider myself a "smoker" nor often enough to be addicted. Though I should really say "didn't". I'm actually in some ways glad they found out. Now I have an out. I wanted to stop for ages I just never did. Now I have a solid reason to. Though lung cancer really should have been a good enough reason, but no one ever said I was good with logic.

*sigh* I'm really quite ashamed with myself in the first place. I don't LIKE smoking anymore. I used to, the actual inhaling that a lot of people hate. I always felt dizzy after, and I always needed to stay sitting and drink something, but I didnt really care. But I couldn't have anything stronger than a Lucky Strike because I would feel sick instantly. And, I am just as aware as the next person that it was awful for me, and a stupid waste of money, and it smelt bad, and a waste of time getting outside and smoking it and then coming back inside and half the time the lighter doesnt work... etc

The only reason I still had them was because I was gonna sell them next semester *facepalm* it sounds stupid but one can get a decent profit from a half a pack of ciggarettes from desperate people on the school bus. But I suppose I might have ended up smoking them so its all for the best.

Well, congrats Neevy, you are an idiot!

OH OH OH. For mah birthday, I was very lucky. I gotted season 2 of Torchwood, YAY, plenty of Jack/Ianto action coming my way, and I also FINALLY got World of Warcraft YAY!

Actually, no. Not YAY. BECAUSE I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO PLAY YET!

I tried to use my old user name, and it said I needed to convert to a battle.net accout, where it told me my username was incorrect, so I tried to get a new username, but I kept being sent to battle.net, and eventually I tried to input my game, BUT IT SAID MY CODE WAS INVALID, WHICH IT WASN'T! It took me two days just to install the game, then a day of these problems, now 2 days waiting for an email back from these people! ITS BEEN A FULL WORKING WEEK, AND I STILL HAVEN'T PLAYED MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT!!!

*takes deep breaths* *calms*

Not cool. At all.

Moro River Ceremony

-MORO RIVER CANADIAN WAR CEMETERY


I had no classes today.

Instead, my entire (albeit small school) spent the day in Ortona. First, a little history. I'm not entirely how to tell this piece of history, despite being well versed in it - so I have taken a summary from Wikipedia

The Battle of Ortona (December 20, 1943 to December 28, 1943)^[1] was a small, yet extremely fierce, battle fought between German Fallschirmjäger (paratroops) of the German 1st Parachute Division under Generalleutnant Richard Heidrich, and assaulting Canadian forces from the 1st Canadian Infantry Division under Major General Chris Vokes. It was the culmination of the fighting on the Adriatic front in Italy during "Bloody December".

The battle, dubbed "Little Stalingrad"^[5] for the deadliness of its close-quarters combat, took place in the small Adriatic Sea town of Ortona, with its peacetime population of 10,000.

That summary is really quite awful. The Battle of Ortona was a week of fighting in the small town of Ortona during the WW2, between primarily German and Canadian troops. The town was destroyed, and many men lost their lives. Ortona credits Canada with liberating their town from the Germans. This December is the 65th anniversary of that battle.

The Veterans Association of Canada invited my school to take part in a day of ceremony in Ortona today. Naturally, my school agreed. When I first heard that an entire day would be spent away from school - so close to the exams - I was immediately frustrated. I will be the first to admit (though others normally beat me to it) that I have trouble concentrating on study after school hours (like now for example, writing a blog instead of my psychology essay,) but during school time, I concentrate and work hard. I really need good grades this year. I began cooking up my argument for exception from the ceremony. I of course respect the men and women who lost their lives in Ortona, but I have already taken part in a ceremony on Remembrance Day in November, and learnt about the Battle. My exams are soon. However, following emails with information on the ceremony to myself, and my mother, it was certain I must attend... she asked if she could come too, she thought it was fascinating. She also said that I needed my 'cultural education' too.

In the end, I am glad I went. Yes, I hate my 'A' dress uniform, complete with waist coat, tie, blazer and mini-skirt. I also wore my nice black shoes, which are (incredibly cute) heels. Ouch. But, it was very interesting.

The first ceremony involved laying carnations on the memorial statue "The Price of Piece" (link: http://www.army.forces.gc.ca/land-terre/images/news-nouvelles/09-0604_1_big.jpg), a tradition started by two women, sisters, 10 years ago, when the statue was erected. The women had been present at the Battle as young girls. Today, only one of the sisters is still alive, and she lay the first carnation on the memorial. There was speeches made by the Mayor of Ortona, the Representative of the Veterans Association (he had a proper title, I don't remember), a Holy Priest, and some youth representatives. This ceremony was followed by refreshments in the (closed) museum, and free time - I ate food and drank coffee.

The afternoon ceremony was a candle lit vigil ceremony at the Moro River Canadian War Graves. Every person was given a candle to lay on a Canadian grave. I was not overly pleased with the way this was done. Though it is a Canadian cemetery, there are actually many other nationalities in the cemetery, including New Zealand and Irish - my nationalities. I initially tried to lay my candle on a New Zealand grave that was in the area designated, but I was not allowed. So then, I tried to lay mine on a "Soldier of the War" marker - a man who's identity was unable to be determined. They could not get the recognition they deserved, because they could not be named. But, alas, I was directed to another grave, I think for consistency's sake. Another point, a candle lit vigil is all well and good - but it was wrong to bring candles to lay on only as many graves as there were people - there should have been enough for every grave in the cemetery.

Something that really bugged me, more than anything else, was the press. Or rather, how the press documented the occasion. The photographers and camera men did what the media are famous for - they only captured the beautiful. While I stood at the Canadian grave to lay my candle, I was placed besides the tall, blonde and gorgeous Katie. And every camera man and photographer took her picture. I was at the end of the isle, she next to me, and when they came to my side to take pictures, they aimed their cameras to cut me out and take her. Now, I'm not saying "oh boohoo I'm so ugly they cut me out" - clearly, though, the blonde and beautiful are far favoured compared to the likes of the short and ginger averages. Either that, or I have "NOT CANADIAN" stamped across my forehead.

However, I came to a realisation about respect and honour at the end of it all. My friend Gabe came up to me and asked where the Irish soldiers were buried - he and I being Irish ourselves. Unfortunately, it was difficult to locate any of them, there is only 4 or 5 buried in the Canadian cemetery, scattered, but we eventually found 2. We asked the coordinator if we could have 2 of the leftover candles, and we decided to lay them on these 2 Irish graves. My realisation was this. We are two 17 year olds. We separated from our group, given free time essentially, and we chose ourselves to pay our respects to these men, went out of our way to try to show them the same acknowledgement the Canadians were receiving, and did that. But more so than this, was our method.

The large ceremony was quiet - we stood silently, solemnly even. It was mechanical and solemn in our respect giving, with many minutes of silence, with the singing of "Amazing Grace" and "O Canada." But when Gabe and I went to lay our candles on our Irish men's graves - we were not melancholy and silent. We were laughing and happy - we were pleased to show our acknowledgments, and enjoying searching out our men in the needle/haystack situation that was this cemetery. We did not hold silence, we talked of the occasion and the men we found. We placed our candle and bowed and crossed ourselves, took a moment to pray for their souls, and moved to the second one to repeat the process.

We, I believe, were showing them the same respect, but I almost think more - we were living, and appreciating what they did for us. Many people would say the way we went about this today is disrespectful, but I don't think so. I think what we did today was just as respectful and honouring.

In the end, I am glad I went I think. However, now I really need to get some work done!